How personal is the decision to have gastric bypass surgery? Is it something you can or should keep a secret, or is it even possible to hide?
I’ve always been very self-conscious about my weight. Very embarrassed about being overweight. So if it were possible to hide the fact that I was having surgery, I would possibly have tried. But I belong to a very tight-knit church, where at least half-a-dozen others had recently had surgery. I knew people would figure it out.
So I opted to be open. When asked (as everyone who loses weight is) “how’d you do it?” I answer honestly. Of course, a hundred other questions usually follow, and I’ve gotten used to answering those as well.
But not everyone is comfortable telling others about such a personal decision. Some feel the issue is just too private. Others don’t want to subject themselves to possible ridicule or hearing negative comments. I can certainly understand that. But choosing to keep your decision private has risks, too, if you don’t handle it right.
Star Jones And Fern Britton Tried To Hide Weight Loss Surgery
Obviously, everyone in the US has an opinion on Star Jones. And those in the UK hav
e one about Fern Britton (for us Yanks, Ms. Britton is a TV personality – household name, really – on the other side of the pond). But both of them have something in common: They tried to hide the fact that they had weight loss surgery (Star Jones had gastric bypass; Fern Britton had the lap band) and it came back to bite them in a big way.
Star Jones suffered the most from hiding her surgery: The public turned against her and she lost her job on The View.
Fern Britton hasn’t lost her job, but certainly took a hit to her popularity – some say her credibility – when it was revealed that she hadn’t just “cut back on portions and ridden her bike to work.”
Both Jones and Britton gave what is, at it’s core, a technically honest response as to how they’d lost their weight: Portion control and exercise. But leaving out the fact that they’d gotten assistance in the portion control department via a surgeons scalpel left the general public feeling lied to.
So my question to those who want to keep their gastric bypass surgery decision private is, “How do you plan to explain your weight loss?” You’re going to be asked. And people are going to think you’re lying to them if you lose weight rapidly and give them any other answer than surgery. Are you prepared for that?
If It’s None Of Their Business, Why Not Just Say So?
Star Jones and Fern Britton, supposedly, suffered a backlash because they were “dishonest” about their methods of weight loss. People became angry not so much because the women had had surgery, but because they tried to pretend they’d lost the weight through “hard work and sacrifice” alone. (You and I both know that having gastric bypass surgery isn’t easy, that there’s plenty of hard work and sacrifice involved. But most people don’t.)
Star Jones has this to say about it all in the November issue of Essence:
Regarding her notoriously-hidden gastric bypass surgery, the best-selling authoress admitted to regretting how it was handled. “If I had just been honest, there would not have been a backlash,” she said, noting that her “big mistake was not telling the audience.”
So my thought is, why invite trouble by lying? If you don’t want people to know, you can politely, nicely say, “I’m sorry, but it’s rather personal and I’m just not comfortable talking about it.”
They’re going to talk about you either way. You can’t avoid that. And here’s a news flash (ok, not really. You know this already): they talked about you when you were fat, too. No matter what you do, people are going to talk.
If they press you after you say it’s none of their business, they’re being rude and you have every right to be rude back. “I’m sorry, but this is personal. I’d appreciate it if you’d drop it.”
No matter how you decide to handle your weight loss surgery information, one thing you will have to develop as the fat melts: a thick skin.
