I’ve noticed it more in the past few days. I know, it’s nothing new. I think I’ve just seen more of it recently and it has me thinking.
Maybe it has to do with the general distaste for fatness in our culture. Overweight people are looked down on, ridiculed, even discriminated against. Many suffer in silence. Perhaps they, too, feel like the problem is their own fault.
I mean, how angry do you have to be to make comments like these in response to news stories on gastric bypass surgeries:
I hope you are doing well, I dobt you are becuase I have seen so many say that yet their hair is gone and they complain about all kinds of illnesses they did not have before. I dobt you are doing well mentally or you would not think that all complacations are the persons fault and have to brag about your self so much!
If it is a matter of ready to change your lifestyle then you do NOT need the surgery!
people you dont need the operation use the push a way plan
No brainer here – barring those with hereditary weight problems, don’t take in more calories that what you use. Eventually you’ll lose weight.
All of these comments came from different people, in response to different stories on various websites.
Why on earth would someone get so ticked off because someone they don’t even know, will likely never even lay eyes on in real life, has surgery to lose weight?
At first, I really wanted to leave comments of my own and set them all straight. But I tired of that really quickly. After all, these people can’t even spell. They obviously aren’t going to recognize facts when they see them.
Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not upset, or feeling bad about this negativity. It just has me puzzled. Maybe I’m just feeling a bit philosophical today.
After you have gastric bypass surgery, you eventually get used to negative comments. Because believe me, people are just as willing to say mean things to your face. Comments like “taking the easy way out” (as IF!) and “so-and-so is losing weight the hard way” are common and annoying at best.
But what is it in the American psyche (or maybe the Western psyche, too, but I can’t speak for other countries) that makes us react so viscerally to matters of weight?
I know that before I had surgery I had some self-loathing issues. I saw my fat as a character flaw. It meant that on at least one level I was a failure. It made me feel like I was less worthy as a person. Of course, I didn’t develop that attitude in a vacuum. It’s reinforced in the media, in the general zeitgeist.
But you would think that in a culture that so despises fat, people would be happy when we as fat people (or formerly fat people) do something about it. Even if that something is surgery, hey – they won’t have to look at fat on our bodies any more. That should make them happy, right?
For a good chunk of people, the answer to that is “no.” For whatever reason – maybe they’re jealous, maybe they’re threatened by our new confidence, or maybe they just really hate fatness and the fact that we needed surgery to lose weight reinforces the opinion that fat=lazy – they’re stinking ticked off about it. And they can be vocal about that opinion.
Here’s an example that happened to me recently: At church, my husband runs the sound system. Said sound system is housed in a booth at the back of the sanctuary. One person can comfortably walk between this booth and the wall and I was standing there talking to my Honey Sunday night. Two ladies needed to pass through. One hasn’t really ever had a weight problem, the other is about the size I was pre-op.
The smaller lady says to me, “Excuse us, skinny lady!” and smiled. I smiled back and said thanks. Her friend, right behind her immediately says, “Well, we’re all skinny inside, sister, so you could say that to any of us!”
Again I just smiled. I know this girl. She’s made similar comments when I bought new vehicles, etc. She’s just jealous, and so couldn’t stand to hear her friend complement me. Didn’t bother me in the least.
But she’s not doing herself any favors, and neither are the negative nellies who wrote the above comments. Jealousy, bitterness, etc – it’s all ugly, on the inside and out.
So there’s no real avoiding negative comments when you’ve had weight loss surgery. The best revenge is knowing you look drop-dead gorgeous (which I did Sunday, by the way ) and that you will not be dropping dead for real from diabetes, hypertension or any other obesity-related issue.
I’ll take my re-arranged insides over their bitter ones any day.