Category Archives: Emotions and Mental Stuff

What Weight Loss Surgery Does To Your Head

Weight Loss Surgery and Suicide

Did you know that there is a higher suicide rate about 2-3 years after weight loss surgery? I saw a news story on it recently and really liked what it had to say.

Unfortunately, too many people think that bariatric surgery is going to solve all their problems. If I were only skinny, we think, my entire life would be different. Continue reading

Bariatric Surgery Resolves Sexual Dysfunction In Women With Morbid Obesity

Well now this is a cool story.

First off, I can’t imagine anyone is surprised that morbidly obese women are more likely to be sexually dysfunctional. OR that losing weight would help, OR that such drastic weight loss would bring on “psychological changes.” DUH.

Still, we know how these science types get excited when they can prove the obvious. So here’s the story: Continue reading

Redefining Yourself After Weight Loss Surgery

Successful female dielWeight loss surgery changes more than just your appearance and your eating habits. No matter where you are in the process, you probably already have a basic knowledge of this fact.

But it’s hard to overstate the mental impact losing so much weight so quickly has on you. Once you get to the other side of the roller coaster ride, and realize that you’ve reached your goal, you still have to process who this new person you see in the mirror really is. Continue reading

Who Is This Person?

Hi everyone!

Hiking With The KidsIt’s been forever since I’ve posted, and I’m sorry.  I guess I do these things in spurts.

In fact, I originally wrote this post at the end of January. But computer problems prevented me from publishing it. Below, I mention that I’m 2 pounds away from goal. I’ve been hovering between goal and five pounds below it for several weeks now.

But what I was feeling at the time seems important, even though I’ve worked a lot of it out. I’ll post again soon (I promise!), but for now, here is the post from January:

A lot is happening. I’m sooo close to my goal weight – like 2 pounds away as of this morning. I’ve actually hit it once, but then bounced back up a few pounds the next day. Now that I’m here, tho, I’ve revised it. I think there are still 10 or 15 pounds of fat lurking in my tummy and thighs.

Between losing all this weight, and the really bad experience I had last year (where I really could have died),  I realize that I’ve changed tremendously. The outside is obvious – sometimes I look in the mirror, and I just don’t recognize the person looking back. She’s a lot hotter than the me I’m used to.

Continue reading

I’m So Depressed

I just can’t take much more of this.

Yesterday, when I went to get my wound vac dressing changed, at first Sue (my wonderful wound expert) said I should be able to get rid of it on that visit. I told her I had some concerns, that I had mentioned to the nurse on Saturday, but she had said they were normal. I wanted Sue to tell me that because I trust her more.

Some background: My incision went from my belly button to my sternum. The original infection was toward the bottom, about an inch up from my belly button. When it happened, they didn’t re-open my entire wound, just the bottom half.

Well, now the skin over the top half was red, and there was a distinctive knot underneath it. It has been there for quite a long time – originally, there was a bulge there even before the infection happened. There was also a distinctive odor.

At first, Sue agreed that it was probably normal, but the knot concerned her. She said it might be a hernia. Fortunately, I’d taken my Xanax. After all, a hernia started this whole drama. As time went on, though, I began to wish I’d taken 2. Continue reading

If I Could Do It All Over, Would I STILL Have Gastric Bypass Surgery?

Me after gastric bypassI’m taking a slight break from chronicling my weeks of misery. There’s still a bit more to tell, though I’ve already told you the worst of it. Mostly, I want to vent about some of the ridiculous things that happened – the medical personnel who were incompetant or rude or both. I really want to drive home the fact that you have rights when you’re in the hospital and you shouldn’t take crap from anyone. And that you have to be vigilant, because some of the hospital staff could care less about you.

Plus, it’ll be therapeutic.

But first, I want to tackle the topic I’d planned to put off till more time had passed. I wanted to give myself enough distance from the trauma to make sure I could be objective.

I’m jumping on into it, though, because I’m already being asked the question. Both by some of the medical people I’ve interacted with over the last couple of days, and by a few people online.

The question is, in light of this horrible experience, would I STILL have gastric bypass surgery if I had a chance to do it all over again? Continue reading

For My Grandma

I love my Grandma very much, and she hasn’t seen me since before my gastric bypass surgery. She doesn’t use email, so I haven’t been able to send her the digital pics I’ve taken. But she does have a computer, and today she was going to try and look up this site to see what I look like now. So if the rest of you will excuse me, this post is for her.

Mamaw, this is probably what you remember me looking like:

Click on the word “more” below to see my progress, and what I look like now. Continue reading

Dealing With Irritating (But Well Meaning) Comments And Opinions

Me after gastric bypassI’m a little irritated today.

First, some good news: I’ve got new pics, and despite not really liking my hairdo, I look pretty darn good.

The skirt I’m wearing is a 12, but it’s very loose. This was taken after I’d been to Wal-Mart and successfully fit into 8′s.

So as you look at this picture, what do you see? Do you see a woman who’s done losing weight? Well, I don’t. I’m still 25 pounds away from what is considered a normal, healthy weight for my height.

And underneath the clothes, there is is definitely plenty of fat still hanging around.

But here’s the part I’m irritated about. I have friends (more than one) who have taken me aside in recent days to ask, “Aren’t you done losing weight? Surely you don’t want to lose any more!”

When I reply that yes, I have 25 more pounds to go the response is something like, “But you look good now! You need to stop!”

And this frustrates me to no end. Don’t you think I know my own body? Don’t you think I know whether or not there is fat there that needs to go?

Do they think I’m going to become aneorexic? Continue reading

Why They Call It Hell Week

A friend of mine from church had her gastric bypass last week. (If you’re reading this, Hi, C!)

She was in a military hospital, so apparently they do things much differently. She didn’t have a drainage tube. Worse yet, she didn’t have the magic pain button. Worst of all, she was sent home within 24 hours of surgery. (Her doc said, “well, you’re going to be in pain whether you’re here or there. You might as well hurt where you can be comfortable.” My response? At home you don’t have nurses waiting on you hand and foot.)

Well, C is now smack dab in the middle of gastric bypass Hell Week. Continue reading

A Woman’s Body Image

I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been very busy with my “day job.” Feeling bad about that, I had every intention to come in today and write a post about how I’ve gone from a size 14 to a 12 – yay! – but still haven’t lost any pounds. (Weird, huh?)

But as I was driving back from dropping my kids off at school, Focus On The Family was on the radio. I missed most of the program today, but as I tuned in Dr. Dobson was talking to an author apparently about lies we tell ourselves. And something he said really got to me.

The author (I’ll look up who it was later, right now I want to get my thought out) was talking abot how we lie to ourselves or are lied to by the culture and that the biggest lie we believe is that “I don’t matter.” He specifically talked about women, and how everything around us (media, advertising, etc) tells us we have to look a certain way to matter. Continue reading